This post has been a long time coming. It's definitely the hardest video and post I've ever done. There are very few people that know this struggle of mine. I'm shaking as I write this and I've deleted the paragraphs 3 times already. I'm terrified to write this.
When we think and hear about mental health, personal hygiene isn’t one of the first things to come to mind.
Self-neglect is the inability or unwillingness to attend to one's personal needs and can lead to poor hygiene, which often accompanies certain mental health issues. For me, it's my defense mechanism. I've discovered I use it to push people away. It took years of self-discovery to uncover this.
It seems like people like me just want to tell you that you need to exercise and eat healthy - for me, it goes much deeper than that. This feeling that I have hurts so badly that I never want another woman to feel this way. To be crushed by her own words and attacked by her own thoughts. The power of food and movement might not have the same impact on you and please know that is a good thing. However, for those of us who struggle from the "invisible illness/disease" of mental illness - nutrition and movement take on a whole new level of importance in our lives.
I thought I had completely overcome my mental illness battle, I mean it was pretty quiet for a decade. After having my second back surgery about a year ago, I realized my struggles had only just started. I used to joke around and say I was probably facing these struggles with motivation and my health because I lost touch with my compassion for my clients. It had been so long since I struggled that I had completely forgotten what it felt like. I could no longer relate to them, nor could I understand when they would say that it was hard. My mental illness has had an impact on my:
reality and how I see myself
compassion towards others
I know it's a long video and I realize many of you aren't going to watch the whole thing and that's ok.
I hope this video brings awareness that mental illness looks different to everyone and impacts all that suffer in different ways. If you are like me, know you are not alone. It's ok to ask for help, that doesn't mean you are weak, it means you are STRONG and AWARE.
I hope this video also brings awareness to those that don't suffer, to have compassion for everyone because you might not be able to "see" their struggles.