Woman on Window Sill

I'M FINE

but my

depression

isn't

It's time to remove the mask...

Living your life trying to make others feel comfortable when they ask how you are doing, you reply - I'M FINE. Maybe they will believe you, maybe they won't notice the pain behind your mask. What would happen if instead of lying and saying you're fine, you told the truth? Often the truth doesn't even cross our mind because we are so caught up trying to be strong in front of others.  Ladies, the baggage we are carrying only gets heavier the more we ignore it. It's time to address it!

Have you ever:

  • Felt shame, disgust or guilt looking at the reflection in the mirror?

  • Had a hard time doing simple tasks, like brushing your teeth, showering, washing your hair, changing you close, or even struggle to just get out of bed?

  • Lied so you didn't have to attend social events?

  • Held in the way you truly feel because you don't want to burden others with your problems?

  • Wondered what is wrong with you, why are you broken, useless, not good enough?

  • Crippled yourself with the negative self talk in your head?

  • Felt numb and helpless as your world is slowly crumbling around you?

  • Ever typed the words "I'm fine" with your eyes full of tears?

Unfortunately, I can say yes to EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.

We have been fed lies and have been conditioned to think we are the problem. Talking about how you feel will make others not want to be around you. No one wants to hear about your problems. How many times have you told yourself any of those?

Depression doesn't always show up on the outside. It's scary what a smile can hide.

Having depression is the biggest mind fuck of all times. It's the fear of being a failure at the same time having no urge to be productive. It's wanting to just be alone but being terrified of being lonely. It's wanting to have friends but hating to socialize. It's feeling everything at once and then being completely numb to your feelings. It's a struggle to explain what's going on in your head to other when you can't even understand it. It's wanting to ask for help but not knowing how to speak.

 

It's being told to snap out of it by someone who's never been depressed.

 

This has been my life for 24 years. I've been medicated and unmedicated. I've been a raging, angry bitch and I've been the most caring and giving person you'd ever meet. My life has been a roller coaster of ups and down. Most of those 24 years, I FELT like I had my shit together, well, kind of. That's what it looked like on the outside. I'd gotten really good at suppressing my feelings. I was under an illusion thinking my depression was gone. I got cocky, my ego took over. Then I got my ass handed to me after my second back surgery.  I finally realized this is a journey, life is full of lessons and we must learn to listen to them, sit with the feelings and then we can grow. If we don't, we will be stuck in an endless loop of repetitive habits and behaviors, vibrating at and attracting in more low frequencies.

Motherhood can be one of the best things that we experience in our lives, but there is also a dark side that we don't often speak about. Why is that?  Why do we feel the need to only show the staged photos and pretend we have a perfect life? What's worse is we also compare our lives to the highlight reel other women are putting on social media when we know damn well that their life isn't as perfect as the pictures! I know for me, I spent my life trying to make others feel good because I knew how bad the pain felt and I didn't want them to feel it. I finally realized, it's not my burden to shoulder. Now, I'm not a doctor, let's start with that! However, I have discovered a realistic approach to help guide women from the dark side of motherhood and depression to bring life back into your body, mind and soul. 

About 

For over 20 years, I have been helping and empowering women to overcome their health challenges - physical, mental and emotional. I was my first client and continue to learn about myself on a daily basis.  

 

The deeper I went into my studies and the more women I worked with, the more I discovered we are all individuals trying to do what we are told, following some cookie cutter plan and then wondering why it doesn't work long term. We've lost trust in our own self awareness, we stopped listening to our own body and constantly ask others what they think we should do. Then throw in motherhood and hormones.... All aboard the Hot Mess Express!

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Optimal health and wellness is achieved when we align our environment, mind, body, and soul as one. Through an integrative approach, I provide you tools to guide you as on your journey to re-discovering the real you.   Find out more about my services and programs below.

Success Stories

I’ve been honored to work with some amazing women and am deeply grateful for their willingness to share their experiences. Scroll below and see what some of my previous clients had to say.

Reach Out

Want to learn more? Leave your info and I’ll get back to you.

If you take anything away from this page, please know you are not alone. 

I am not a doctor and this is a page about my personal experience with battling depression for 24 years. There is also client testimonials shared on this page.  No information here is to be taken as or substitute for medical advise or counseling.

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©2021 Susie Bower